Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
