names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
