I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
