I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
