ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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