it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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