Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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