Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
