I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
