We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
