return my video game
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
