I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wear drunk well.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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