I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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