Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Did I show you my penis last night?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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