i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
