a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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