At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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