I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
