I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
