he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
