Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
