omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
