She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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