Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
