they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
