she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
