Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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