And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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