There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
