so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
