How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
