I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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