Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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