We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
