Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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