idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
