one two three fourrrrnication!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
