worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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