one two three fourrrrnication!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
