My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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