I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
