I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
NoShamevember. You game?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
