we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
