Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
