my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
