Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wear drunk well.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
