As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
