i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
