I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
