Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have fence marks all over my body
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
